Look what happens when you say never. I have hopefully never said that I wouldn't have a dog, but I have said that I would NEVER have an indoor dog. About 4 weeks ago Ryan begged me for dog. I said I wasn't ready. Long story short. We are taking care of a guys dog for him until he finds a place to rent where he can let the dog stay with him. He is paying us. I feel like it's a job, but it's been less than 48 hours since we got her (Hershe) and I am falling............in Love, I guess it's what you call it. I don't know, but she is sweet. She does what you say, she is potty trained, she is mellow, she is nice, she is pretty, and she doesn't stink. She DOES shed, but it's ok, because she can't be perfect. SHe is a purebred chocolate lab. The situation is new, I have accepted her as part of our family. The girls love her. She likes them and us and loves to just be loved. She is still getting used to Owen. Not sure about him yet. This was part of the reason I wasn't ready to have a dog (ther others were...too much money, to sad to make them sleep outside, and didn't want to get attached) WOOPS........ I am attached. Of course if she left tomorrow I wouldn't cry but I like her. I was telling Ryan the feelings I had last night were so strong. I was just so happy that this guy we hardly know wanted a place for his dog to stay and he just trusting us. I know we are good people, clean and will love the dog. I just makes me feel good. I made BLT's for dinner in honor of Hershe. Her owner told us maybe everyonce in a while she could have a piece of bacon. So tonight I made 9 pieces of bacon. Everyone (except Owen) got 2 and Hershe got one. It's LOVE I am telling you, pure love. Speaking of love. I asked Ryan tonight if he remembers the reason he feel in love with me and he said yes, and began to tell me why. It was something along the lines of that I was just natural and I was me and I was cool. Of course he said it much more amazing than that. I was lifted and flatered. I get down sometimes because I focus on the part of our marriage that has faded and how we aren't like we used to be in the begining. It's a thing I should work on. I lOVE rYAn.Sure we don't sit ontop of each other and smother each other 24 hours a day like we used to, but we are still happy. We have grown, we love, we are still intimate. I kissed him tonight, and it was because I love him and it was special and I wanted to keep kissing him. I love that feeling. Valentines day is this week. We are going on a date tomorrow. My goal is to just lose myself in him and not worry about kids. I want to think JUST RYan. I have been trying super hard lately to strengthen the family and it's been such a blessing, but I realize we have to work on marriage and it's ALL about balance.
MORE DATE NIGHTS TO COME..............
MONEY DOESN'T MATTER...................(gotta say that one over and over to myself)
MARRIAGE WILL STRENGTHEN OUR FAMILY..................
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
We have a dog in our house

Um, as most things I get super excited to start and then it FADES! Hey, I should give myself credit, I am at least writing again...right??...
Um, I WAS doing better. My pains are still sticking around. I kept running thinking it would help, but they arent' going away. I even did an exercise video today and thought they would magically be gone, but they are just the same. My back hurts as I am writing, and my wrist is flaring up really bad. I have to lay off of the push ups, which Jillian videos do a lot on your hands to build your core and arms. It's good stuff and I need my wrists. Challening time for me right now. I am struggling still with the eating. Just back to my habitual ways I guess. It's not a good excuse, but I have to get with it soon, because I dont' want to throw away my weight loss and I want to feel COMFORTABLE in swimsuit for the FIRST time in my life. We actually went swimming with some friends today at the raquet ball club. I felt ok in the suit. That Owen he was a stud muffin in his swim trunks. We all had a great time. It was a great feeling to swim with my children and friends and I wasnt' stressed. The girls and Owen were super great.
I better finish later and brush my teeth and go to bed. Owen is up at 5:30 and it's hurtin me.
Right now, it's the next day. I think I have a crush on a dog. I beautiful chocolate lab that isn't mine, but is in my house and I guess we are babysitting it. I have tears in my eyes right now, not for the dog, but for me. I have taken hold of my old habits and am eating to just eat. Not sure why. I have to figure it out. I am sad, not me and I want to be in control again. Tomorrow will tell. I will pray for strenght and support from Heavenly Father tonight. I know I am capable of doing it. I know I can, I just have to try harder. Ry and I watched BL (biggest loser) tonight. I am looking at so many cute crafts on peoples blogs and I just want to make, make, make STUFF. I love crafts, I love being creative. Now I just need to do and not DREAM! When my friend teaches me how to put my name on my pictures, i am going to start stickin up pictures. Lots of to do's. TOday I LOVED my children. I do everyday, but it's one thing I feel like I did good today. The sun was out and we went for a walk with Hershe. Em and Ash rode their scooters and I pushed Owen in the stroller. I love my babies!
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